Back to Blogging on the Full Moon

Greetings, my lovelies,

It's been such a long time since I've posted on my site that I will never "catch up," so I will concentrate on the here and now and hope not to be away so long again:

This is an unusually inspiring Full Moon (exact tonight at 10:20 p.m. EDT), as Neptune has been mediating between the Sun and the Moon all day, creating a so-called easy opposition between the luminaries. This Full Moon between Cancer and Capricorn shall therefore illuminate more than the standard Cancer-Capricorn polarities and possible tensions of home vs. the public eye, mother vs. father, family vs. career; with Neptune trining the Sun and sextiling the Moon, this Full Moon instead dreams of a way to have it all -- and this dream could actually turn into a viable waking reality for those of you who want to put your dreams into action.

For me, the perfect symbol of this Full Moon / Sun-Neptune trine day is this pair of vintage eyeglass frames, which arrived in today's mail:

The best-ever birthday present (two weeks early) that I have ever given myself. I associate vintage items with both Cancer and Capricorn (and indeed, both signs are known to be collectors), eyeglasses with Neptune. (The eyes themselves are ruled by Aries, but eyewear itself is far more mysterious and Neptunian in nature.) I knew I was taking a risk ordering these frames from an online vendor (Etsy-cough-Etsy-yay-Etsy), but this vendor gave precise measurements (they are truly complex for eyeglass frames), and I happen to know mine. And as much as I like my current vintage frames, it has been nearly five years since they've been gracing my face. Long story short, these new old frames made my day. And as an added bonus, I got into an astrological conversation with the vendor, which inspired me (Neptune) to post again, after three and a half months of silence.

Stay tuned!

In Honor of International Left-Handers' Day

Today is International Left-Handers' Day, which first celebrated approximately 10 percent of the human population on August 13, 1976. In a decade that brought us many wacky crazes, like mood rings, disco, and the pet rock, Left-Handers' Day proved to have staying power -- although it is one of the lesser-known holidays, the Internet has certainly increased its visibility. (I myself, who was old enough to remember the Bicentennial, was unaware of this holiday till I started going online.)

Being a lefty, I have only one minor bone to pick with whomever decided the date of Lefty Day: it should fall on March 13, not August 13. This is because Neptune is the planet that is most associated with left-handedness, and rules the sign Pisces (and the Sun transits the Pisces zone of the zodiac from February 19 to March 21).

However, I am fine with this holiday's falling on the 13th day of the month, because even though the number 13 is a Pluto/Scorpio number, not a Neptune number (that would be 7), 13 is a transgressive, subversive, taboo-oriented number, and many people still look upon lefties with suspicion and superstition (e.g., the devil is said to lurk on the left).

If you don't believe me about the Neptune thing, go on eBay or to an astrologer's yard sale and score a copy of the Oct./Nov. 1999 issue of The Mountain Astrologer, which features an "article particle" by yours truly, titled "Neptune: The Left-Handed Planet." I'd reprint it here, but this interface doesn't seem to handle text-oriented scans very well, and I'm not in the mood to transcribe the whole article. (It's copyrighted, by the way, so keep that in mind if you're a plagiarist.)

In a nutshell, back in the day when I was but a pre-Saturn Return but oh-so-serious sprout, I did enough research on the natal charts of famous and not-famous lefties to make a case that Neptune and/or its corresponding sign Pisces are unusually strong. Aspects between Mercury (which rules the hands) and Neptune are also common in lefties -- it doesn't seem to matter what the aspect is, as long as it is tight. This does not, of course, mean that everyone with a strong Neptune (i.e., Neptune conjunct Ascendant or Midheaven and/or making many aspects to other planets) or Pisces stellium (i.e., three or more planets conjunct in Pisces) is left-handed -- my Pisces bestie, for example, has more Pisces planets (some of which, including her Mercury, trine her Neptune) than anyone I've ever met, yet she is right-handed. However, she exemplifies many traits of lefties: creative, artistic, sensitive, quirky. I would say that makes her an honorary southpaw.

However, southpaws including Marilyn Monroe, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Babe Ruth, Judy Garland, Rembrandt, Queen Victoria (who passed down her "birth-left" to subsequent generations of Brit royals including King George VI and Prince Charles), and Paul McCartney all have kick-ass Neptunes and/or strong Pisces placements. Not surprisingly, as Neptune/Pisces rules the arts, a staggeringly high percentage of notable lefties can be found there; two stunning examples of southpawhood, Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci, defined the Renaissance. Unfortunately, a high percentage of lefties can be found just plain staggering, as lefties tend to hit the bottle and other party favors harder than their righteous pals, and also tend to be clumsier and more inept due to living in a world designed for righteous consumers (from scissors to can openers to handshakes to door knobs to power tools to Western-style writing and driving).

Neurologists and psychologists have determined that lefties are not just more creative, juiced-up, and accident-prone than righties, but are also more stubborn, emotional, and angrier than righties, more prone to bedwetting, schizophrenia, and ADHD -- ooh, my neighbor's cooking something yummy, think I'll raid my fridge for a snack -- so Twinkies etc. are back but I can't keep 'em around, I'm on a diet, I'll have to eat some peanut butter instead -- wait, what was I saying...? Um, so I'm almost positive that author Ellen Gilchrist is left-handed; not only is she a Pisces, not only is her alter ego Rhoda Manning a Pisces, she makes a point of identifying several of her characters as left-handed. I'd ask Ms. Gilchrist, but I wrote her a fan letter back in the pre-Internet '90s and she never wrote back, and I'm just too damned sensitive to be ignored by this great writer a second time....

My own chart is a practically a calling card that announces my left-handedness: Neptune in the 3rd (Mercury-ruled) house trine Sun, Mars, and Mercury (the latter within a quarter of a degree), sextile my Rising Pluto, separating from a square to Venus in the (Neptune-ruled) 12th house, and widely opposing Saturn. Interestingly, my father, who is also left-handed, also has strong Neptune aspects -- but they are squares, not trines, and he did not flow into the arts as I did. He also had an undiagnosed case of dyslexia (far more common among lefties in Western culture due to conflicting orientation), whereas I was reading at a high-school level by age 6 -- yet my 3rd-house Neptune does mark me as a daydreamer who can easily get disoriented in my local environment. I can also sense funny vibes really fast, and have learned to exit venues and cross the street instead of scoffing at my spidey sense.

Happy Left-Handers' Day! If you are left-handed, I'd love to hear from you about your chart, if you are in the arts, and any other observations you may care to share about living life as a lefty. If you are not a lefty but are romantically involved with one or are the parent of southpaw spawn, I'd also love to hear from you.

My Big Fat Midlife Crisis: Notes on Uranus Opposing My Ass

Being an astrologer does have its perks. At the same time, it can be like waiting for a delicately poised axe to fall and relieve me of my head.

In this era, the three aspects that launch one into midlife are the Pluto square, the Neptune square, and the Uranus opposition. (In other eras, Pluto is not a factor, due to its highly eccentric orbit.) Depending on exactly when you were born, these aspects can overlap, or not be anywhere near one another. However the timing plays out, it helps to think of these aspects as a process instead of isolated incidents.

In my case, I experienced the Pluto square first, at the relatively early ages of 35 and 36. With Pluto at my IC (aka Nadir, or the 4th House cusp) squaring my natal Pluto on the Ascendant, I feared that I would lose my home; instead, I slowly slid into credit card debt (Pluto). There was also a disastrous moneymaking scheme on my too-trusting father's part that eventually cost him his medical license and hefty lawyer's fees to stay out of jail. (Although the father is traditionally said to rule the 10th House, the family in general is to be found in the 4th, and this situation affected the entire family.) Sex became a battleground, but by the final square I had become far more emotionally honest about my needs and wants. What wound up alleviating the Pluto square was my natal Jupiter; on the heels of the square, Pluto formed a sextile to it. Though I was spending money I didn't really have, I was also very creatively productive (wrote my second book). On a shallow level, I looked surprisingly good; at least on the surface, the Pluto square agreed with me. Unlike just a few years before, I felt that my life was on an upswing; I was no longer mourning my lost youth, had a great apartment and some new friends, and felt I was growing younger, not older.

The Neptune square came considerably later, between the ages of 39 and 41. (This square, unlike the Pluto square, occurred five times instead of the standard three.) At age 39, with Neptune entering my 6th House, I began experiencing various minor but annoying health issues that compelled me to confront my physical vulnerabilities and jump off the Fun Train. Feeling extremely lost, a Nowhere (Wo)man in a Nowhere Land, my relationships expressed the dark side of my Neptune-ruled 7th House, with much masochistic behavior on my part in an attempt to hold on to those who were not worth touching with a ten-foot pole. I moved to a neighborhood that was more affordable but also very far away from almost everything and everyone I wanted to be close to. I further compounded that mistake by convincing myself (and not for the first time, unfortunately) that companionship trumped good sexual chemistry in a steady relationship, and that I could literally live with such a scenario. But it was a harmful pipe dream, and while I was smoking it, I gained weight; instead of applying my Plutonian willpower to dieting, I bought some trousers and skirts with elasticized waists and proceeded to pack on more pounds. I became increasingly morose and downright depressed at the same time that I was publishing erotica eBooks and poetry and attracting attention on the thriving Manhattan reading-performance circuit -- a typically Neptunian paradox, as validation for my writing meant very little to me when I felt so worthless. It was was midway through this nearly two-year period that I landed a part-time office job without even seeking it out -- and the job dissolved (Neptune transiting my 6th) just as mysteriously after the fifth and final square. This last square not so coincidentally occurred just a few weeks after getting together with my current boyfriend, a Pisces -- there was an air of fatedness and magic (Neptune) to the proceedings, as we'd had a date three years earlier, and on our do-over the NRE (new relationship energy) was off the charts. But the square forced me to see that far from being a pair of enchanted mythological creatures, we were fallible, just two sensitive souls with plenty of baggage that cannot be easily jettisoned. Similar to the Pluto square, I believe that my natal Jupiter acted as a sort of guardian angel and kept my creative juices flowing, as Neptune trined it shortly before making the square to my natal Neptune.

Today marked my second Uranus opposition. (The first one happened this past April, just two months before the transiting Uranus-Pluto square). Falling in my 1st and 7th Houses, from Libra to Aries, the question of how to balance my relationships with the people who are most important to me are on my front burner -- but so too is a sense of wanting to make some pretty big changes that are incompatible with current realities. I have no idea how this dilemma can be resolved. Maybe it can't. I don't really know what else to write about my Uranus opposition; combined with the notorious Uranus-Pluto square, it's just too much to fathom, and unlike the Pluto and Neptune squares, my Jupiter is not there to cushion any blows. Perhaps its true meaning won't become clear to me until after the final Uranus opposition occurs, which is just two months away. I have a very strong sense of champing at the bit and being very frustrated with all the limitations in my life, at the same time that I am aware of how thankful I should be. I feel that a window is open, that this may be my last chance to steer my life in the direction I want it to go, but at the same time, I am terrified to climb through this window because it would entail letting go of just about everything and everyone dear to my heart as well as everything and everyone I want to leave behind.

If you are going through the same midlife aspects, I would love to hear from you. It would also be interesting to hear from those of you who emerged on the other side of the Uranus opposition. If you do not wish to leave a public comment, please email me at plutorisingastrologer@gmail.com.

What Happens When I Take My Eye off the Astrology Ball

Short answer: It's not pretty.

Long answer: Because I was unusually harried and pressed for time on Saturday afternoon, I failed to look ahead on my trusty astrology software program for the exact timing of two doozies headed my way: transiting Neptune opposing my natal Venus and transiting Mars conjuncting my natal Moon. I knew they were coming; I just didn't know how soon. Like, on Monday. And I was away from my 'pooter for the rest of the weekend.

Oops.

Part I: So Venus Walks into a Bar and Spills Her Drink on Neptune...

I raised a sensitive issue with my sweetie ca. noon yesterday instead of holding my water till the next time we got together. Pobody's nerfect, and a few hours later I made an effort to set things right by articulating myself better, and I think I succeeded. But try telling that to my mortified Venus in Virgo as Neptune exactly opposed it. It was a perfect storm of bad timing, hurt feelings, and yes, opposition. At the very least, I should've taken the Moon in Cancer into account before saying anything; emotions run pretty high during this lunar transit.

Part II: Moon-Mars Meltdown

The Moon may soothe an angry Mars, but the reverse just ain't so. As a Lunar Scorpion, I have no halfway feelings: I am either scaling the heights of ecstasy or plumbing the depths of despair; Zenning out or really pissed off; in hard-core downtime mode or wanting not just to connect, but to merge. Scorpio is an emotional Water sign, yet its Fixed quality makes it far more stubborn than its cousins Pisces and Cancer, and its ruler, Pluto, is a tough negotiator that dwells in the realm of extremes: birth, death, sex, taxes. It's the power behind the throne, not the performer in the spotlight. Mars in Scorpio is all about power and magnetism, and its capacity for getting shit done is truly amazing -- but when it's under stress, front and center is the last place it should be.

So what did I do when, upon returning home and perusing my astro software, I clearly saw that Mars was due to cross over my Moon shortly after 9 p.m.? Under the fog of Neptune still opposing my Venus, I went ahead with my plans to read at a performance series that I already had plenty good reason to think was no longer working out for my particular set of sensibilities -- in fact, with these misgivings in mind, I had already discouraged my sweetie from attending the show. I did not want to attend either, yet I decided that it would be a chicken-poop move to cancel unless I were truly ill, and feeling sad and worried did not count as such in my book. As my little crew of friends were not going to show up till later in the show, when the curator of the show asked me when I wanted to go on, I requested a late slot (which meant very, very close to the exact conjunction between Mars and my Moon). Most of the show went fine; unlike last month, most performers stuck around after their slot to shine; the venue was even air-conditioned (though it wasn't necessary, as NYC had cooled down considerably by sunset).

Then a dyed-redheaded woman, who looked to be smack in the middle of middle age, got up there and sang, then flat-out yelled, incoherent verses while banging a wooden spoon on the table closest to the stage. She reminded me of a mental Ethel Merman (Menthal Merman? Ethal Mental?). Like the Journey song "Don't Stop Believing," she went on, and on, and on, and on...till she managed to clear most of the room. With her bright red hair and headache-inducing racket, she may have been a manifestation of Mars on my Moon; my reaction was quite unusual for performance-mode me. When people understandably began jumping ship, I hot-footed it over to the back of the room to ask the curator of the show if he was planning on yanking this woman off The Gong Show anytime soon. He pointed out that I'd asked to be put on late; I thought, but did not reply, that this preference had nothing to do with the fact that Menthal Merman was causing a mass exodus. I myself nearly fled the venue without reading, but stuck it out and seethed during the next performance. I was most assuredly not "feeling it" when I was finally standing at the mic and peering out at several rows of empty tables and chairs. I apologized to the curator for my Moon-Mars meltdown, but I don't think I sounded too convincing.

And I think I know why.

Sun Conjunct Neptune: Don't Dream It, Be It

Remember the Mercury-Neptune conjunction on Valentine's Day? Were you able to communicate all the dreamy, inspiring thoughts swimming through your mind? Well, if the challenging Venus-Pluto square occurring at the same time kept you from feeling the universal love that Neptune is capable of, you have another chance today...except that it is far more visceral in nature than the Mercury-Neptune conjunction.

The Sun symbolizes one's life force and ego, and linking up with Neptune at 0 degrees of Pisces, this is an auspicious day for dreaming what and who you want to BE into reality. You need not be an artist or mystic to take full advantage of this aspect, but you will need to be open to the mysterious, inspirational nature of Neptune in its own ruling sign.

Meditate. Listen to music (right now I am playing ELO's El Dorado). If the spirit moves you, do a watercolor painting, or write poem or a song. Take a long bath. Allow yourself fantasize or daydream about your ideal self, with two caveats: Resolve to do something about making this dream come true, and also recognize that if your fantasy is so over the top that it could not possibly come to pass without jail time, eviction, or being chased by butterfly-net-wielding doctors, after the conjunction passes (3:42 p.m. EST) try to dial it down a few notches. Neptune is not moderate, has no boundaries, and can sometimes be downright delusional; if you do not temper its visions of what could be with a dose of pragmatism and awareness of reality, you can become dangerously swept up in its siren song.

You might also find yourself feeling lost or "at sea" today about who you really are; Neptune tends to dissolve or diffuse whatever planet it contacts. Such dissolution is particularly beneficial if you tend to be rigid or overly controlled; Neptune can open you up to new possibilities. However, if you are a Neptunian type to start with (i.e., your natal Neptune is heavily aspected or you have planets in Pisces), this feeling of not really knowing who you are might just be business as usual.

Neptune, which rules Pisces, is highly emotional and inspirational. Let yourself go with this Water-element flow, but at the same time, remember how to breathe underwater, and be sure to respect the undertow. (These instructions are not necessary for the Water signs Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces, but other signs may need them in order to navigate today's waves.)

Good cess in finding your own "Rainbow Connection."

Neptune: Giving with One Fin, Taking It Back with the Other

Two thousand twelve started with such a bang (New Year's Day I took part in a poetry marathon; the following day I had a poem published in a well-respected literary magazine; then spent an Edenic weekend with my newish boyfriend), I might have known that just 10 days later I'd fall off a cliff..."coincidentally" with transiting Neptune conjunct my 6th-house cusp in the final degree of Aquarius.

In late March 2011, the first time Neptune entered 29 degrees of Aquarius and my 6th house, I came down with the flu. The second time, six months later, I was heartbroken in a dying relationship. And both of these situations seem like a gourmet picnic compared with what is now afoot (pun intended): a suddenly worsening upper-ankle (Aquarius) sprain (Uranus, ruler of Aquarius) caused by a near fall (Uranus again!) several weeks ago, which means I will need to see an orthopedist at the precise moment it will bring tears to my eyes to deal with a co-pay: the unexpected (yet more Aquarius/Uranus) loss of my part-time job (6th house), the nook of stability in which I resided for the past 13 months while continuing to freelance and write. Oh, and I have until the end of March, when my lease is up, to get my income back on relatively solid ground. No pressure there! Neptune is many things, but solid is not one of them.

Actually, I have gone through far worse situations, and without the benefit of an emotional support network (i.e., a few real friends). However, with the Moon transiting my natal Moon sign of Scorpio, I feel pretty damned lonely right now. I am writing this post on company time (it's not as if they can let me go; they already did that last week). If I were literally alone right now, perhaps I would not feel so isolated. But with Neptune once again poised on my 6th-house cusp, I feel like a fish (Neptune) out of water (all but the cusp of my 6th house falls in Pisces).

The idea of performing later this week, with the Moon in Sagittarius, seems a cruel joke. But if I wish to be a true performance poet and not a self-pitying overgrown baby, I must turn this sludgy, drudgy feeling into something vibrant and inspirational, and make my support network proud.

Back to the drawing board...and back to work.

Getting Personal

As a Pluto Rising person with Moon in Scorpio, it would pretty much be a no-duh no-brainer to state that I am a private person.

That is, except when I am not.

My 10th-house Sun and Mars-Mercury conjunction across my 11th-house cusp does give me the undeniable urge to be heard, if not seen, by as many people as possible -- and even when seen, I can rely on a veritable costume closet of personae to protect my innermost Sun-in-Cancer core.

All this by way of saying that instead of writing from on high discussing various aspects in an impersonal way, right now I feel like focusing this on how I've been faring under certain aspects and progressions.

The weekend before last, with the Sun in late Leo squaring my natal Neptune in Scorpio and also squaring my progressed Moon in Taurus, I received word from my editor that she was planning to shut down Paper Bag Press, an erotica e-press she launched on Valentine's Day 2009 (fitting, since my editor is an Aquarius). She did not give an official reason for her decision in her email, but with virtually nonexistent sales over the past several months, it hardly came as a surprise. Still, it came as disappointing news. In 24 hours or so, all rights to Sandwich Filling and The Poetry Prostitute shall revert back to me, and I will be free to try to place them elsewhere.

My progressed Moon has just entered the final degree of Taurus; as it is squaring the cusps of my 6th house and 12th house, with transiting Neptune once again conjunct the 6th house at 29 Aquarius (where it was when I came down with the flu earlier this year), my health has suffered in minor yet irritating ways. Not even a week after I finally recovered from a month-long back injury that had prevented me from doing yoga, I came down with a bad head cold that has kept me home from work for two days (and since I am technically a part-timer, I do not get paid sick days).

The New Moon in Virgo fell in my 12th house, and I have not been outside my apartment building since Friday evening; this is due to my bad cold, yet even if I were well enough to go outside and soak in the warm late-summer sunshine, I would want to do so as far removed from crowds of people as possible. Unfortunately, this annual desire for retreat cannot be honored in full...at least not this year.

I have been reading up on 29 degrees of Taurus and it seems that along with the final degree of Pisces, something is coming to an end that cannot be continued. This confirms my innermost feeling at the same time I do not know what will happen when this chapter of my life is over.

I have some ideas, of course, but hypothesizing at this point seems vaguely silly. Right now it makes more sense to look back over the past two years (my progressed Moon entered Taurus in July 2009). There is much in my progressed Moon-in-Taurus life to be grateful for -- love, validation for my creativity, some trustworthy friends who have my back, steady work, a nice home -- yet at the same time, I must face up to the dark side of Taurus: stubbornness, materialism, heaviness (both literally and figuratively), defensiveness, and tendency to get stuck in a rut.

Change is the only constant, but it is easy to forget that piece of wisdom during a progressed Moon in Taurus.