Monday, January 25, 2016
It's the moment you've been waiting for since January 5th: Mercury turning direct. Whenever Mercury stations direct (or retrograde) very close to another planet, that other planet will offer the key to our thoughts and our communications for a week or so. In this case, the planet tied up with Mercury's stationing direct is my personal favorite: Pluto. In the wee hours of last Friday 1/22, Mercury backed over Pluto, and a tremendous blizzard that broke many local records slowly made its way up the Mid-Atlantic states and into New England. Since it was a weekend, many (though by no means all) individuals were able to stay home and kick back -- a great thing to do with Mercury Stationary, when time seems to slow down and reflection is important. Mercury will cross over Pluto again on Saturday 1/30, so there may be another snowstorm (though probably not as slow-moving and extreme as last weekend's). As for interior weather, many a mystery will be solved. As Mercury is a neutral planet, neither overtly masculine nor feminine, it takes on the color and tone of the planet it is conjunct, and since Pluto is the ultimate spy of our solar system, don't be surprised if you uncover a huge secret -- or if you have one of your own secrets blown. When feeling vengeful, Pluto will hit below the belt and abuse its considerable power; a Mercury-Pluto conjunction in Capricorn could create not only a snowstorm, but a perfect storm for scandal. Politicians, bankster bigwigs, CEOs, and famous people in general will be especially vulnerable, but even if you're Mr. or Ms. Nobody from Nowhere, if your hands aren't completely clean, watch out -- you will be called out. With the Moon in Scorpio next weekend, the fallout from the Mercury-Pluto conjunction may very well involve the revealing of "sexcapades," embezzlement, abuse, and murder. If you find yourself falsely accused or under obvious suspicion this week, try not to fall into the trap of "Well, if that's what you think of me, I might as well go ahead and do it." You may have more short-term fun, but in the long run, not so much. Other Mercury-Pluto conjunction activities include having breakthroughs in psychotherapy; reading and writing mysteries, crime novels, and erotica; masturbating; purging yourself of possessions that have lost their meaning to you; obsessing; breaking bad habits; changing your routine in a way that is profound though not necessarily visible; having a meaningful interaction with a sibling or neighbor; coming to terms with a death or loss; channeling your inner shaman; being able to concentrate on something with great intensity and insight; experiencing clairaudience; communicating with the dead. In the hands of a dangerous person with too much power at his or her disposal, a Mercury-Pluto conjunction can be a literal or figurative nuclear weapon. In the hands of a super-loving, super-conscious person, this aspect can be used as a highly effective tool for healing. Most of us stand somewhere between these two extremes, but it does help to know where exactly you stand, and to move your ass if you don't feel right about your location.
Friday, January 22, 2016
Good evening, my astro-curious lovelies. Once in a blue moon or so, I dispense with my seriousness regarding astrology in favor of something lighter...in the form of sun-sign astrology. This is one of those times. You may well find a grain of truth in this post, but I also advise you to take it with several grains of salt (unless you know your Moon and Rising signs, and can therefore read those descriptions as well for a more accurate reading). You live in one of the Mid-Atlantic states, and a Nor'easter blizzard's a-comin'. However, your reaction to the impending "snowpocalypse" will vary depending on your sign. Aries: Bring that sucker on, baby! I'm gonna take out my SUV or motorcycle out onto the zero-visibility roads and race against myself. Taurus: Let's stay inside all weekend and bake brownies and pies. And eat them. Gemini: After I check in on my neighbors and siblings, I'm going to text/call everyone I know, plus update my Facebook status every hour and post selfies of me making snow angels. Cancer: Get out of my way, I have to run to the supermarket in total panic mode and buy up all the milk, eggs, and bread. Leo: Party! Virgo: This will give me a great opportunity to catch up on some paperwork and also organize my linen closet. Libra: Snowstorms are so romantic when you have someone special to hunker down with. If I don't have a special someone, I have a few hours to find him/her. Scorpio: Snowstorms are so sexy when you can stay in bed and fuck all day and all night, lather, rinse, and repeat. Sagittarius: Now that my flight to Aruba's been canceled, guess I'll Skype with all of my friends in different time zones, start reading that book I got as a holiday present last month, and register for a philosophy, religion, or foreign language course. Oh, and go snowboarding. Capricorn: I need to check on my parents/grandparents to make sure they're okay (if my elderly relatives are all dead, then I'll check on other old folks) and shovel some walkways to make some extra coin. Aquarius: Start a revolution online! Pisces: Snowstorm? There's a snowstorm predicted? Hmm. Well, after I take a ten-hour nap, let's watch DVDs or binge-watch (fill in that TV show) and drink ourselves legless.
Monday, January 11, 2016
Friday, January 8, 2016
Marauding Middle-Eastern molesters in Cologne on New Year's Eve; ginormous gaffe committed by that city's female mayor: womenfolk, dress modestly and keep an arm's length away from those valued immigrants! Anti-government asshats in Oregon. Retard Repugnicons deride President Obama's plan to implement background checks for anyone who wishes to purchase any type of firearm, from a ladylike pistol to a totally unnecessary AK-47, as a ploy to take guns away from law-abiding citizens. Donald Trumpeters appear in Bernie's backyard. Stock marketus interruptus, rinse and repeat. But take solace, for not all the news during this first week of 2016 has been fit to shit: according to the December jobs report, the US has now reached full employment! Just ignore the fact that something like 3 out of 5 new jobs enable workers to rent a cardboard box and switch to a better brand of cat food (for themselves). But seriously, at least in some cities, city employees will now receive a minimum wage of $15/hr. Oh, one other thing: under-45s in the US would apparently overwhelmingly prefer to Feel the Bern than to follow in the Puritans' dream of a City on a Hill(ary). I'd contest the New York Times columnist David Brooks's insistence on calling this a Millennial trend, since the oldest Millies are only turning 34 this year, but no one in the media has really noticed Gen X since 1996 or so, much less given this generation any credit for anything remotely positive, so whatever (or, as Kurt Cobain would say, nevermind). We are now in the Dark of the Moon in Capricorn. This is a great day to hibernate. The New Moon in Capricorn occurs tomorrow at 8:30 p.m. EST. Depending on which house that New Moon falls in your own chart, plan on the next lunar cycle being a mixed bag of structured energy (Capricorn) and frustrating delays (Mercury is retrograde till Mon. 1/25). The Sun will catch up with that retrograde Mercury on 1/14, so it's likely your ego will feel very ambitious and override cautious deliberation. Parting notes: Happy Birthday to rock legend Elvis "the King" Presley, who shares the same soulful combination of Sun in Capricorn and Moon in Pisces as Martin Luther King Jr. And Happy Birthday to David Bowie, who could be a poster boy for Neptune Rising (i.e., creative, glamorous, magical, elusive, what-you-see-is-not-what-you-get).
Monday, January 4, 2016
Please note that all times given are Eastern Standard Time. Happy New Year to you. Since 2016 began, we have already gone through some interesting ingresses (that's fancy-pants astrologese for "planet changing signs"): Mercury entered Aquarius at 9:21 p.m. on New Year's Day, and yesterday Mars entered Scorpio at 9:33 a.m., just five hours before the Moon joined it for Scorpionic Sunday. To quote my friendly neighborhood transit company, "Sometimes you have to go backward in order to go forward." Hold on to your seats: Mercury is about to turn retrograde at 8:06 tomorrow morning, and this backward-turning motion may jostle and jar you quite a bit because it comes on the heels of a Mercury-Mars square (exact 7 a.m.). We went through a Mercury-Mars square on December 29, but because the signs were different (Mercury in Capricorn, Mars in Libra), the upcoming square will not be so much a repetition of 12/29 as a rhyme. Similarities are bound to include communication difficulties (ranging from mild misunderstanding to full-blown fighting), travel delays, and health issues, but expect more stubbornness (since the square occurs between fixed signs this time) and less of a willingness to compromise (since Mars in Scorpio doesn't know the meaning of the word). Technical difficulties are also likely, so be sure to back up your backups. It is also likely that you will have to go back over certain things and situations that you thought you had wrapped up so neatly at the end of 2015. This could be a royal pain in the ass, but a more positive possibility is that you may be given a do-over -- a second chance you didn't think you had. Since a Venus-Neptune square follows just an hour and a half after Mercury turns retrograde, however, I feel compelled to state that you probably won't be feeling much in the way of gratitude tomorrow. More likely is a feeling of romantic disappointment, or feeling spiritually jet-lagged, out of place and out of time, a "divine discontent" with the world. If none of the above applies, you might just feel low-energy or downright ill (since Neptune is in Pisces). And with the Sun-Pluto conjunction exact tomorrow night at 10:26, you may feel called upon to restructure your self-identity, transform your level of ambition, or knock a couple of buildings down in order to start from scratch. You may find that you need to create an entirely new set of blueprints for yourself. The Sun-Uranus square follows on Thursday 1/7, so you may be feeling particularly boxed-in and rebellious -- or someone important to you will announce his or her desire for more freedom and fewer rules. It all depends on whether you are more representative of Sun in status-driven, control-oriented Capricorn or headstrong, impulsive Uranus in Aries.