Sun in Cancer Square Uranus in Aries: Accidents Happening at Home and in the Head

Greetings, astro-freaks and the merely astro-curious who are reading this post anyway:

Today is a hard day's night (the best malapropism ever coined by a Sun in Cancer: Ringo Starr, whose 75th birthday was on 7/7) thanks to the Sun-Uranus square, exact 11:59 p.m. EDT. This aspect in general manifests in shakeups of all stripes, accidents, and breakdowns. There is plenty of snap, crackle, and pop afoot, but not in a friendly breakfast-cereal kind of way. With the specific signs involved (Sun in sensitive, moody Cancer; Aries in headstrong, aggressive Aries), the most likely places this collision course is happening are at home and in the head.

This is not the best day to move house or engage in home improvement projects. Ikea instructions will seem even more inscrutable than usual. In the kitchen, even proficient cooks may find themselves all burnt thumbs and dropped eggs. This is a good day to order food in, but nothing too spicy. If you go out, "scenes" are likely. If your gut is sensing funny vibes, listen to your gut. Situate yourself near the exit so that you can make a quick getaway if necessary. Otherwise, you may find yourself in the thick of a revolution that you would rather not be a part of.

This is a difficult aspect under which to self-soothe. Identity crises as well as emotional and physical shocks to your system are very likely. If your birthday is today or fell within the past week, you face a very challenging year, as your Solar Return chart features the Sun-Uranus square. On the positive side, if you are sick of your "mold" in either or both senses of the word, this is the best time for you to break out of it. Think of it as revolutionary evolution. However, if you are a fairly typical Sun in Cancer, your self-identity is tied up with sticking with "the devil you know." It is not so much that Cancers are masochistic or lack a sense of adventure, but natives with this sign prominent (Moon and/or Ascendant in Cancer, not just the Sun) tend to retreat and sulk when wounded or threatened and are not among the more trusting or optimistic signs of the zodiac. In other words, a typical Cancer type is apt to feel that change, even for the better, is automatically bad. Cancers are more likely to remain in their comfort zone, even if that zone feels profoundly uncomfortable. Cancer is Latin for "crab," and if you observe a live specimen of this shellfish, you will see that it never approaches what it wants directly; it skittles sideways, even backward at times, until it suddenly lunges forward, takes your toe in its claw, and refuses to let go. Good, clean fun!

Lest you think I am judging Cancers unfairly, I happen to be a member of the Crab Club, and I can tell you that today has not been easy for me. Feeling so disconnected has been all the more disconcerting since yesterday was a great day at the beach with a friend. When I woke up today, I found myself reading the Weddings section of the Times online because one of the grooms, an older gentleman, wrote many songs for Sesame Street, a show that provided some of my best memories from early childhood. But then I had to keep on reading about every couple's special story. Every bride was described in such glowing terms by her groom: so gentle and generous, so beautiful and fun, so creative and wise. Such a devoted friend, daughter, sweetheart. And today I felt that none of those adjectives could be applied to me. As a Scorpio Moon, I periodically go through spates of a deep dissatisfaction with who I am and where I'm at, coupled with an equally deep desire to change, with the aim that the worst part of my eventual obituary will be the fact that I won't be around to read it. But today, on a Sun-Uranus square, feeling such dissatisfaction with myself has been so intense that I broke my own heart.

I'd charge myself guilty of the crime of oversharing, but I do feel that it's important for me on this blog to own up to being a part of humanity, especially when I'm feeling apart from humanity. Healing others through astrology cannot happen without self-healing through astrology.

If there is a planet associated with the human race, I believe it to be Uranus, whose mission is to evolve via revolution, reformation, rebellion, technology, and true acceptance of diversity including mutations that may someday become the norm. One full orbit of Uranus around the Sun takes 84 years, which matches up with Homo sapiens' life cycle -- especially the 7-year markers leading up to the midpoint of 42 years, the so-called midlife crisis. I just returned from a trip from the state of New Hampshire, whose motto is "Live Free or Die"; this philosophy seems particularly apropos on a Sun-Uranus square, although it does contradict the notion that nothing in life is free. And that is cool, because life is full of paradoxes.

My Big Fat Midlife Crisis: Notes on Uranus Opposing My Ass

Being an astrologer does have its perks. At the same time, it can be like waiting for a delicately poised axe to fall and relieve me of my head.

In this era, the three aspects that launch one into midlife are the Pluto square, the Neptune square, and the Uranus opposition. (In other eras, Pluto is not a factor, due to its highly eccentric orbit.) Depending on exactly when you were born, these aspects can overlap, or not be anywhere near one another. However the timing plays out, it helps to think of these aspects as a process instead of isolated incidents.

In my case, I experienced the Pluto square first, at the relatively early ages of 35 and 36. With Pluto at my IC (aka Nadir, or the 4th House cusp) squaring my natal Pluto on the Ascendant, I feared that I would lose my home; instead, I slowly slid into credit card debt (Pluto). There was also a disastrous moneymaking scheme on my too-trusting father's part that eventually cost him his medical license and hefty lawyer's fees to stay out of jail. (Although the father is traditionally said to rule the 10th House, the family in general is to be found in the 4th, and this situation affected the entire family.) Sex became a battleground, but by the final square I had become far more emotionally honest about my needs and wants. What wound up alleviating the Pluto square was my natal Jupiter; on the heels of the square, Pluto formed a sextile to it. Though I was spending money I didn't really have, I was also very creatively productive (wrote my second book). On a shallow level, I looked surprisingly good; at least on the surface, the Pluto square agreed with me. Unlike just a few years before, I felt that my life was on an upswing; I was no longer mourning my lost youth, had a great apartment and some new friends, and felt I was growing younger, not older.

The Neptune square came considerably later, between the ages of 39 and 41. (This square, unlike the Pluto square, occurred five times instead of the standard three.) At age 39, with Neptune entering my 6th House, I began experiencing various minor but annoying health issues that compelled me to confront my physical vulnerabilities and jump off the Fun Train. Feeling extremely lost, a Nowhere (Wo)man in a Nowhere Land, my relationships expressed the dark side of my Neptune-ruled 7th House, with much masochistic behavior on my part in an attempt to hold on to those who were not worth touching with a ten-foot pole. I moved to a neighborhood that was more affordable but also very far away from almost everything and everyone I wanted to be close to. I further compounded that mistake by convincing myself (and not for the first time, unfortunately) that companionship trumped good sexual chemistry in a steady relationship, and that I could literally live with such a scenario. But it was a harmful pipe dream, and while I was smoking it, I gained weight; instead of applying my Plutonian willpower to dieting, I bought some trousers and skirts with elasticized waists and proceeded to pack on more pounds. I became increasingly morose and downright depressed at the same time that I was publishing erotica eBooks and poetry and attracting attention on the thriving Manhattan reading-performance circuit -- a typically Neptunian paradox, as validation for my writing meant very little to me when I felt so worthless. It was was midway through this nearly two-year period that I landed a part-time office job without even seeking it out -- and the job dissolved (Neptune transiting my 6th) just as mysteriously after the fifth and final square. This last square not so coincidentally occurred just a few weeks after getting together with my current boyfriend, a Pisces -- there was an air of fatedness and magic (Neptune) to the proceedings, as we'd had a date three years earlier, and on our do-over the NRE (new relationship energy) was off the charts. But the square forced me to see that far from being a pair of enchanted mythological creatures, we were fallible, just two sensitive souls with plenty of baggage that cannot be easily jettisoned. Similar to the Pluto square, I believe that my natal Jupiter acted as a sort of guardian angel and kept my creative juices flowing, as Neptune trined it shortly before making the square to my natal Neptune.

Today marked my second Uranus opposition. (The first one happened this past April, just two months before the transiting Uranus-Pluto square). Falling in my 1st and 7th Houses, from Libra to Aries, the question of how to balance my relationships with the people who are most important to me are on my front burner -- but so too is a sense of wanting to make some pretty big changes that are incompatible with current realities. I have no idea how this dilemma can be resolved. Maybe it can't. I don't really know what else to write about my Uranus opposition; combined with the notorious Uranus-Pluto square, it's just too much to fathom, and unlike the Pluto and Neptune squares, my Jupiter is not there to cushion any blows. Perhaps its true meaning won't become clear to me until after the final Uranus opposition occurs, which is just two months away. I have a very strong sense of champing at the bit and being very frustrated with all the limitations in my life, at the same time that I am aware of how thankful I should be. I feel that a window is open, that this may be my last chance to steer my life in the direction I want it to go, but at the same time, I am terrified to climb through this window because it would entail letting go of just about everything and everyone dear to my heart as well as everything and everyone I want to leave behind.

If you are going through the same midlife aspects, I would love to hear from you. It would also be interesting to hear from those of you who emerged on the other side of the Uranus opposition. If you do not wish to leave a public comment, please email me at plutorisingastrologer@gmail.com.