Transiting Sun Opposing My Natal Pluto: The Whole World's Out to Get Me

...or is it that I'm out to get the whole world? This topsy-turvy logic may make more sense, and it may not even be that weird; after all, Pluto Rising, c'est moi.

First of all, has anyone out there in astrology-lovin' cyberspace missed me? It's been something like five weeks since my last post. What's changed in those five weeks? Simple, really: I got a part-time (technically freelance) job that feels like a full-time one due to a long commute and fine print attached ("You must demonstrate the same degree of commitment and general gung-ho-osity as this company's full-timers, including but not limited to checking work email early on weekend mornings in order that you may resolve the sphincter-spasming issue of a PM's not receiving a file you sent late last night in order to meet a crucial deadline. Oh, and if you are not a technical wizard, you had better either become one or pray that nothing seriously goes awry after our tech ninjas leave the building for the day. And did we mention you will need to stay late again tonight?")

This is what I wanted, even prayed and burned candles for: steady work. Now I've got it and while there are some definite positives (a steady paycheck that will launch me a notch or two above what NYC considers piss-poor; a cool, laid-back supervisor who answers my many questions with amazing patience; a very nice fellow evening-shift colleague), I am also stressed-out, constantly tired yet too wired to relax, and perhaps most upsetting of all, supremely uncreative. It wasn't too long ago that I was that magic combination of imagination and discipline. Now...fuggedaboutit.

I was really hoping that today would be different; that I'd be able to get some Creative Time in. But with the Sun opposing my Pluto (and, by the way, poised to enter my 7th House later this evening), my laptop became infected with a virus that somehow infiltrated my trusty (Ed) Norton Internet Security, and had to be fixed via remote technician to the tune of $89.98.

And somehow, it's gotten to be almost five o'clock Brooklyn Time. Fuck. If I manage to put away all the laundry I did yesterday before work and get to the grocery store to pick up a few staples, I may still have a chance.

And maybe once the Sun leaves my 6th House and begins to trine my Mars, Mercury, and Neptune from my 7th House over the next few days, life won't seem as bleak, and the Cult of Work that's been up in my grille for the past month or so will ebb at least somewhat.

I can only hope.

Mercury Retrograde in Pisces Blues

It all seemed so promising, this flock (or school) of Pisces planets, the likes of which haven't been seen in so many moons I hadn't even been born yet: Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, all desposited by Neptune in its ruling sign of the Fishies, and all in harmony with Saturn in the fellow water sign Scorpio.

If only Mercury hadn't turned retrograde on 2/22, perhaps all would be going swimmingly (pun intended).

Mercury retrograde is tough all by itself, but in Pisces, the sign of Mercury's detriment, it is even more of a challenge. As much as this placement can inspire, particularly for creative types, it can also sink even the most forward-thinking person into a quagmire of sadness and "mighta-coulda-shoulda-beens." Not a great time to focus or to be able to remember your keys, your 17 case-sensitive passwords, or your own name. I myself was out earlier today to pick up a nice loaf of Italian bread for tonight, which I managed to forget at the counter; when I ran back out into the snowy, sleety mess to get it, the mirror in my building's lobby confirmed that I'd put on my World War I Flying Ace hat backward.

Right after Mercury turned retrograde in my 6th house of health, I came down with a bug accompanied by a low-grade but debilitating fever that has only now begun to dissipate. Said bug served as a nifty wet blanket during the romantic weekend getaway I'd planned a month ago for my sweetie and me. I also shot myself in the foot (Mars in Pisces in my 6th) during an important job interview this week (which I'd had to reschedule -- another signature of Mercury retrograde -- as last week I was way too sick to come in) by failing to present myself with enough confidence. (Pisces is many things -- visionary, inspiring, paradoxical, magical, mysterious, wistful, dreamy, intuitive -- but rarely take-charge confident.) However, there was one bright spot: a rewarding chart reading with a new client.

Mercury turns direct on 3/17; between now and then we will have the New Moon (3/11), which I hope will give me (and everyone else) more hope in the face of various personal and societal disturbances (e.g., the sequester and the restrictive abortion law passed this week in Arkansas -- especially ironic, given that today is Inernational Women's Day).

Pee Ess: If a Certain Pisces is reading this post, Happy Birthday and I hope you're getting ready to celebrate!

Neptune: Giving with One Fin, Taking It Back with the Other

Two thousand twelve started with such a bang (New Year's Day I took part in a poetry marathon; the following day I had a poem published in a well-respected literary magazine; then spent an Edenic weekend with my newish boyfriend), I might have known that just 10 days later I'd fall off a cliff..."coincidentally" with transiting Neptune conjunct my 6th-house cusp in the final degree of Aquarius.

In late March 2011, the first time Neptune entered 29 degrees of Aquarius and my 6th house, I came down with the flu. The second time, six months later, I was heartbroken in a dying relationship. And both of these situations seem like a gourmet picnic compared with what is now afoot (pun intended): a suddenly worsening upper-ankle (Aquarius) sprain (Uranus, ruler of Aquarius) caused by a near fall (Uranus again!) several weeks ago, which means I will need to see an orthopedist at the precise moment it will bring tears to my eyes to deal with a co-pay: the unexpected (yet more Aquarius/Uranus) loss of my part-time job (6th house), the nook of stability in which I resided for the past 13 months while continuing to freelance and write. Oh, and I have until the end of March, when my lease is up, to get my income back on relatively solid ground. No pressure there! Neptune is many things, but solid is not one of them.

Actually, I have gone through far worse situations, and without the benefit of an emotional support network (i.e., a few real friends). However, with the Moon transiting my natal Moon sign of Scorpio, I feel pretty damned lonely right now. I am writing this post on company time (it's not as if they can let me go; they already did that last week). If I were literally alone right now, perhaps I would not feel so isolated. But with Neptune once again poised on my 6th-house cusp, I feel like a fish (Neptune) out of water (all but the cusp of my 6th house falls in Pisces).

The idea of performing later this week, with the Moon in Sagittarius, seems a cruel joke. But if I wish to be a true performance poet and not a self-pitying overgrown baby, I must turn this sludgy, drudgy feeling into something vibrant and inspirational, and make my support network proud.

Back to the drawing board...and back to work.

Getting Personal

As a Pluto Rising person with Moon in Scorpio, it would pretty much be a no-duh no-brainer to state that I am a private person.

That is, except when I am not.

My 10th-house Sun and Mars-Mercury conjunction across my 11th-house cusp does give me the undeniable urge to be heard, if not seen, by as many people as possible -- and even when seen, I can rely on a veritable costume closet of personae to protect my innermost Sun-in-Cancer core.

All this by way of saying that instead of writing from on high discussing various aspects in an impersonal way, right now I feel like focusing this on how I've been faring under certain aspects and progressions.

The weekend before last, with the Sun in late Leo squaring my natal Neptune in Scorpio and also squaring my progressed Moon in Taurus, I received word from my editor that she was planning to shut down Paper Bag Press, an erotica e-press she launched on Valentine's Day 2009 (fitting, since my editor is an Aquarius). She did not give an official reason for her decision in her email, but with virtually nonexistent sales over the past several months, it hardly came as a surprise. Still, it came as disappointing news. In 24 hours or so, all rights to Sandwich Filling and The Poetry Prostitute shall revert back to me, and I will be free to try to place them elsewhere.

My progressed Moon has just entered the final degree of Taurus; as it is squaring the cusps of my 6th house and 12th house, with transiting Neptune once again conjunct the 6th house at 29 Aquarius (where it was when I came down with the flu earlier this year), my health has suffered in minor yet irritating ways. Not even a week after I finally recovered from a month-long back injury that had prevented me from doing yoga, I came down with a bad head cold that has kept me home from work for two days (and since I am technically a part-timer, I do not get paid sick days).

The New Moon in Virgo fell in my 12th house, and I have not been outside my apartment building since Friday evening; this is due to my bad cold, yet even if I were well enough to go outside and soak in the warm late-summer sunshine, I would want to do so as far removed from crowds of people as possible. Unfortunately, this annual desire for retreat cannot be honored in full...at least not this year.

I have been reading up on 29 degrees of Taurus and it seems that along with the final degree of Pisces, something is coming to an end that cannot be continued. This confirms my innermost feeling at the same time I do not know what will happen when this chapter of my life is over.

I have some ideas, of course, but hypothesizing at this point seems vaguely silly. Right now it makes more sense to look back over the past two years (my progressed Moon entered Taurus in July 2009). There is much in my progressed Moon-in-Taurus life to be grateful for -- love, validation for my creativity, some trustworthy friends who have my back, steady work, a nice home -- yet at the same time, I must face up to the dark side of Taurus: stubbornness, materialism, heaviness (both literally and figuratively), defensiveness, and tendency to get stuck in a rut.

Change is the only constant, but it is easy to forget that piece of wisdom during a progressed Moon in Taurus.