Thursday, March 29, 2012

Sun Square Pluto: Control Freak Central

Greetings, my astrologically inclined lovelies and uglies:

Has everyone recovered from the Sun-Uranus conjunction? I know I haven't! Are you taking a not-so-minor detour underground, or to the Underworld? Are you wearing a mask that conceals your true self so well that even you have forgotten who you really are? Are you wondering why the hell so-and-so still hasn't gotten back to you, or perhaps deciding that only you will determine when to give so-and-so some peace of mind? Are you writing or receiving a ransom note? Are you perusing a BDSM manual or making an appointment to visit your friendly neighborhood dungeon? Are you obsessing about death? Will your hands never be clean? Are you absolutely certain the stove's been turned off? Congratulations! You are right on schedule for the Sun-Pluto square, exact 3:41 p.m. EDT.

If you are a regular visitor to this anti-horoscope site, in which Pluto rules and all other planets drool, you should know by now that you are not alone in these difficult feelings and scenarios. Being an astrologer does not exempt me from tough planetary aspects. I own an injustice collection that I am unable to auction off on eBay, a ever-lengthening line of people and noncorporeal abstractions that I would love to dispatch -- not in terms of putting to death, mind you, but somehow cleanly and efficiently remove from my brain, heart, and soul. Pluto is my customary mask, as it's on my natal Ascendant (i.e., my face and my front door). And placed in Virgo, every day I have to fight against its OCD and control-freak tendencies. Unfortunately, I tend to overcompensate by giving Others Who Shall Remain Nameless far too much power (since Pluto is conjunct my Asc., it opposes my 7th-house cusp). As you might imagine, this behavior does not fill my Pluto with joy, for from its necessarily subjective 1st-house perspective, its powerful energy shouldn't be used or abused by anyone except for...me.

Pluto is many things, but it is rarely what it appears to be. Unlike Mars, it tends not to announce itself as a strong, strutting, bellicose kicker of asses. Pluto has more sexuality in its pinky than most planets have in their entirety, yet often comes across as a geeky, if somewhat unsavory, alien. Pluto seethes behind its Clark Kent or Retro Librarian eyeglasses and bides its time, keeping score of accumulating insults and indignities, before eventually detonating, with scant or no warning, like an atomic bomb. This is unhealthy on so many levels, and can be boiled down to lack of trust (in itself as much as in others) and fear of being vulnerable and open in communication. An argument need not mean the end of a relationship, or of the entire world -- but Pluto sees only in black and white, feels only in extremes, and stubbornly holds on to the view that to ask for help not only is an admission of weakness, but an open invitation to get run over.

On this Sun-Pluto square, I urge everyone reading this post to reflect as honestly as possible on personal issues of control and resentment, and how they are getting in the way of honest communication and your own integrity. A square hurts so much mainly to get you to do something to stop the pain -- but if you know that that "something" will only serve to numb you out or cause harm to yourself or others, please try to find something else, including asking the right person(s) for help.

4 comments:

  1. I need help understanding what the Sun is doing this week to me... My Grand Cross has Sun and Moon opposing... so it could get interesting.

    I have been disgustingly honest with myself this week as to the reasons behind my darkness: bad intentions that are uncharacteristic of myself.

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    1. Without brutal self-honesty there can be no transformation, so it seems you're on the right path. You have a natal Grand Cross involving a Full Moon? Well, I can't say what the Sun is doing for you this week if I don't have all planets and degrees, but more important, I don't dispense free astrological info outside my postings, as private consultation is one of my jobs. Please contact me for my rates if you like.

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  2. T.C. I love you.
    I love you.
    Did you get inside of my brain, soul, spirit...where did you get in, to see all that you have described, in this truth pouring post?
    I declare blessings on you for bravely shedding the light on a very hard and dark places-so the rest of us can see and realize- we are not alone..T.C. you are really getting to the very core of it.
    You have described me-all of it,I can see myself while standing in the blind spot,T.C. you know how hard that is....?.... when Pluto is positioned as you have just described??
    You certainly know- you know it!!
    You are a Master Astrologer.

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    1. Just a few minutes ago, before I took my customary seated position at the altar of my laptop, I was thinking that my astrology blog was at best just a pleasant distraction from my "serious" creative work, and at worst a public exercise in self-indulgence that very few people hear anyway. (I don't confuse "followers" on Twitter with actual readers.)

      Sometimes I feel as if I'm shouting into the Grand Canyon. In this world of hype, spin, and celebrity, I am nobody. Unlike Groucho Marx, I *can* join a club or official organization that would have someone like me for a member, but whenever I have, I wind up looking for the nearest exit.

      All this by way of saying thank you, "Anonymous," for reminding me that if I reach even *one* person via this astrology blog, I am doing at least part of my job in this life that I have at least partly chosen.

      And I consider myself more a mistress of astrology than a master.

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