Sun Square Pluto: Control Freak Central

Greetings, my astrologically inclined lovelies and uglies:

Has everyone recovered from the Sun-Uranus conjunction? I know I haven't! Are you taking a not-so-minor detour underground, or to the Underworld? Are you wearing a mask that conceals your true self so well that even you have forgotten who you really are? Are you wondering why the hell so-and-so still hasn't gotten back to you, or perhaps deciding that only you will determine when to give so-and-so some peace of mind? Are you writing or receiving a ransom note? Are you perusing a BDSM manual or making an appointment to visit your friendly neighborhood dungeon? Are you obsessing about death? Will your hands never be clean? Are you absolutely certain the stove's been turned off? Congratulations! You are right on schedule for the Sun-Pluto square, exact 3:41 p.m. EDT.

If you are a regular visitor to this anti-horoscope site, in which Pluto rules and all other planets drool, you should know by now that you are not alone in these difficult feelings and scenarios. Being an astrologer does not exempt me from tough planetary aspects. I own an injustice collection that I am unable to auction off on eBay, a ever-lengthening line of people and noncorporeal abstractions that I would love to dispatch -- not in terms of putting to death, mind you, but somehow cleanly and efficiently remove from my brain, heart, and soul. Pluto is my customary mask, as it's on my natal Ascendant (i.e., my face and my front door). And placed in Virgo, every day I have to fight against its OCD and control-freak tendencies. Unfortunately, I tend to overcompensate by giving Others Who Shall Remain Nameless far too much power (since Pluto is conjunct my Asc., it opposes my 7th-house cusp). As you might imagine, this behavior does not fill my Pluto with joy, for from its necessarily subjective 1st-house perspective, its powerful energy shouldn't be used or abused by anyone except for...me.

Pluto is many things, but it is rarely what it appears to be. Unlike Mars, it tends not to announce itself as a strong, strutting, bellicose kicker of asses. Pluto has more sexuality in its pinky than most planets have in their entirety, yet often comes across as a geeky, if somewhat unsavory, alien. Pluto seethes behind its Clark Kent or Retro Librarian eyeglasses and bides its time, keeping score of accumulating insults and indignities, before eventually detonating, with scant or no warning, like an atomic bomb. This is unhealthy on so many levels, and can be boiled down to lack of trust (in itself as much as in others) and fear of being vulnerable and open in communication. An argument need not mean the end of a relationship, or of the entire world -- but Pluto sees only in black and white, feels only in extremes, and stubbornly holds on to the view that to ask for help not only is an admission of weakness, but an open invitation to get run over.

On this Sun-Pluto square, I urge everyone reading this post to reflect as honestly as possible on personal issues of control and resentment, and how they are getting in the way of honest communication and your own integrity. A square hurts so much mainly to get you to do something to stop the pain -- but if you know that that "something" will only serve to numb you out or cause harm to yourself or others, please try to find something else, including asking the right person(s) for help.

Sun-Uranus Conjunction in Aries: Le Freak, C'est Chic

Truth be told, Dear Readers, I'm not feeling the "chic" part of "freak." Indeed, I'm barely keeping it (i.e., myself) together under this powerful conjunction between the Sun and Uranus, exact at 2:21 p.m. BEST (Brooklyn Early Springtime). I am literally shaking, and fixating even more than usual on the meaning of various relationships, both past and present (the conjunction falls in my 7th house of partnership). The conjunction at 4 degrees of Aries also happens to occur within 1 degree of opposing my natal Uranus; if I were feeling stable or mellow right now, I might have to call into question the accuracy of astrology.

Uranus is many things, but calm and laid-back it ain't. I only wish that I could channel the more positive qualities of this planet (brilliant, reform-minded, metaphorically color blind) instead of basically spazzing out and feeling as if my head contains a lightning storm instead of a brain.

The Sun-Uranus conjunction, which has been effect since the Vernal Equinox on the 20th, is also manifesting (at least in my neck of the woods) in a freakishly early spring. The trees are exploding with lacey, fragrant blossoms, which stirs the artsy aesthete in me at the same time I dread an equally premature high pollen count that will send me running for the shelter of Zyrtecland.

This conjunction definitely encourages individualism and breakthroughs concerning who you are (as opposed to what you feel, think, want, believe, fear, do, or dream). You are far more likely to put yourself first and seek your own freedom now; this may not be such a bad thing if you tend to be a doormat or keep pushing your own needs under a rug. Just look both ways before you cross the street into another dimension, and also be prepared to walk the walk if you talk the talk, for others will be quick to call your bluff if they detect you are growing a beak and feathers. Remember that for better or worse, everyone is going through this conjunction today.

It is also worth keeping in mind that Mercury is still retrograde and has slipped back into flip-flopping Pisces, which increases the likelihood of having second thoughts or simply not knowing what you really think. Also, Mars is still retrograde in Virgo, which may also inhibit your taking direct action on the New You you so much want to become.

Uranus is impatient, but it is also oriented toward the future. If you do not burst into outrageous bloom today, there is always tomorrow...and tomorrow, as John Lennon put it so well back in the revolutionary '60s, never knows.

Lunar Scorpion Corner: In Honor of My Grandpa

This installment of the Lunar Scorpion Corner is in honor of my paternal grandfather, who was born 101 years ago today but unfortunately died nearly 30 years ago.

That I know anything at all about unconditional love is in large part thanks to this wonderful man, a Pisces born with Moon in Scorpio (as well as Jupiter in Scorpio). He was a GP doctor, undoubtedly one with immense healing abilities given his Sun-Moon combination.

As far as I know, Grandpa was the only other member of my family with a Scorpio Moon. Perhaps it is the sort of placement that skips a generation? All I know was our shared Moon sign gave us a very special emotional connection.

I am truly fortunate to have had him for the first 12 years of my life. I still remember his gentleness, his humor, and the walks we took on Lido Beach, where my grandparents had a summer place. He always seemed happy to see me, whatever we did.

Lunar Scorpions often have tumultuous love lives; in my grandfather's case, he was married to a harsh, heartless woman for over 40 years. I am half convinced that he would've lived a much longer life if it hadn't been for my EG (evil granny). Then again, I would not be here had he married someone else...or perhaps I would, but in a vastly different package. Right after he died, EG informed me that he was the one who wanted to visit my little sister and me on Sundays, not her; it was only because of his insistence that they were in our lives (as well as the lives of our parents).

Thus I found myself at the tender age of 11 3/4 having this very guilt-inducing thought for the first (but far from last) time: "Why couldn't Grandpa have lived, and Granny have died instead?"

When I lived within walking distance of Brooklyn Heights, I would walk down Henry Street, where he was born, and pay silent tribute to this man. I am definitely a better person for having known him. Thanks, Grandpa.