Saturn-Uranus Inconjunct: "There Is No Closure." Mars-Jupiter Square: "Of Course, You Know This Means War!"

If you've been feeling bludgeoned by the pile-up of seemingly unusually bad news for the past week or two (escalating violence with civilian casualties in Israeli-Hamas conflict; Malaysian Airline plane shot down in Ukraine; more airline fatalities; "poor door" for token affordable-apartment renters in a posh building on Upper West Side of Manhattan where buyer-dwellers are rumored to urinate gold and shit chocolate), I have six words for you: Saturn inconjunct Uranus; Mars square Jupiter.

To be nitpickingly hair-splitting (as is in my contract as a Virgo Rising), the inconjunct (aka quincux) between Uranus at 16 degrees of Aries and Saturn in 16 degrees Scorpio stopped nine minutes short of exact, at which point Saturn turned direct (7/20) and Uranus turned retrograde (7/21). These shifting of gears in a very inharmonious aspect was akin to motion sickness on a global level. I'm not saying everyone felt ill, though I myself came down with a bad summer cold that I had been fighting off (and eventually lost to) for the past few weeks, but certainly, with Mars still badly placed in Libra, it's safe to say many of us were off balance.

It has been noted by astrologers that the Israeli people are ruled by Aries, while Arabs are ruled by Scorpio. This may well be true as both Aries and Scorpio are ruled by Mars, planet of war and the military; and in an inconjunct aspect to each other, no matter how many cease-fires there have been, just like the inconjunct aspect, there is never any real resolution -- only irritation and resentment that periodically flair into violence. Interestingly, an inconjunct has both a Virgo and Scorpio flavor; just count five signs ahead of (and behind) Aries, the natural starting point of the zodiac, and you land on Virgo and Scorpio. Inconjuncts seem to bring out the worst in the respective signs involved; in this case, the natural Aries-Scorpio flavor is amplified by Uranus and Aries literally placed in these signs. Furthermore, this is a "closing" (Scorpio) inconjunct due to Saturn's being the faster-moving planet and turning direct. In other words, Aries's worst tendencies (hotheadedness, short fuse, excessive aggression, me-first-ism) have been butting heads (and butts) with Scorpio's worst tendencies (spitefulness, grudge-holding, power-tripping, subterfuge). With this bad attitude, no one wins and everyone loses -- and innocent civilians on both sides have been losing their lives over this.

Admittedly, I was not unhappy to see Mars in Libra finally depart last Friday night, as it wore out its welcome with me around the time it turned retrograde back in February -- ensuring that this transit of Mars in Libra would be like that clueless party guest who refuses to leave in the last wave of leavers and instead lolls around drinking, scattering cracker crumbs on your sofa, and talking pointless drivel while you, the worn-out host, are pointedly collecting empty glasses and other party deitrus, hoping this asshat will get the hint. Mars in Scorpio should be much better for me on a personal level as well as in general, as Mars is dignified in the sign of the scorpion, whereas in the sign of the scales Mars is in its detriment. However, we are not seeing any improvement as there is a Mars-Jupiter square (exact 8/1). This may be the aspect of war, especially with Mars in a sign that does not shy away from confrontation. At the very least, the Mars-Jupiter square denotes poor judgment (which can, of course, lead to war, or at least take a sad song and make it even sadder).

Believe me, dear readers, I know whereof I speak; I myself have a separating but extremely close Mars-Jupiter square, with Mars placed in its fall (Cancer) and Jupiter in a critical degree of Libra (critical degrees are the equivalent of supersizing whatever sign is involved). I can never decide whether this is my chart's worst apect or if it's my Moon-Saturn opposition; they are so different from each other, and in both cases these gnarly aspects are helped by wonderful aspects from other planets. Still, I am very much aware that it's my Mars-Jupiter square that has gotten me into the worst scrapes. Sometimes I feel like a cat, as I have used up a handful of lives on ill-considered risks, followed someone else even if I knew s/he was going to get me lost, engaged in unnecessary and unwinnable wars, and burned many bridges.

I made an important and long-overdue decision just over a week ago that I know in my mind is right, yet my heart is doubting it. Hence, no resolution in either mind or heart, and my soul is so fed up it's gone on summer vacation without letting me know its itinerary. I'd tell this Saturn-Uranus inconjunct and Mars-Jupiter square to go to hell, except that is where I am right now.

Grand Cross: The Way Things Are Going, We're All Going to Be Crucified

Uranus squares Pluto for the 555th (oops, I meant 5th time) on April 21st, just as Jupiter squares Mars and Uranus and opposes Pluto, Mars squares Pluto and opposes Uranus, and have I left anything out of this cacaphonous clustercuss of Cardinal signs? Should we be relieved that Mars is not only in Libra (talk about hamstrung placements), but RETROGRADE, so that some of us may in fact survive World War III and/or a natural (or unnatural) disaster?

Uranus in Aries to Pluto in Capricorn: Off with your head!

Pluto in Capricorn to Uranus in Aries: Oh, you don't want to eat cake? To the poorhouse (or even better, newfangled Auschwitz) with you!

Jupiter in Cancer to Pluto in Capricorn: Tsk-tsk, what would your mother say?

Pluto in Capricorn to Jupiter in Cancer: Who knows? I've been far too busy dividing and conquering to give a damn about her opinion.

Uranus in Aries to Jupiter in Cancer: Back off, sweetie, it's far too hot in here for a big softie like you...though maybe, if you really want to help, you could write a patriotic song for the revolution.

Mars retrograde in Libra to Uranus in Aries: Why can't we all just get along?

Uranus in Aries to Mars rx in Libra: Wimp.

Pluto in Capricorn to Mars rx in Libra: I feel the sudden urge to tie you up and beat you senseless, but I won't do it because you'd like it too much.

Mars rx in Libra to Jupiter in Cancer: I feel the sudden urge to run off to Las Vegas with you and elope and gamble...but I think I'm already married.

I am offering a special this month on Grand Cross readings. Even though this rarer-than-rare aspect is challenging all of us, it affects all of us differently depending on where it falls in your chart and if it contacts any of your natal planets. Please email me at plutorisingastrologer@gmail com for my rates. Please note that all readings will be via Skype.

Mars Retrograde to Me: You're Fired. Me to Mars Retrograde: Up Your Nose with a Rubber Hose.

Okay, so Mars is retrograde in Libra and I really shouldn't have been shocked by what happened right after I got to work on Tuesday, on the approaching Moon-Mars conjunction.

But what the hell, the Sun was also exactly trining my Neptune and Mercury (forming a grand trine in water). I thought that would be more than sufficient protection. In fact, I was no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop; I was plenty tense the day before, figuring if there was gonna be any blowback from the events of last Friday night, it would happen on Monday.

I couldn't have been wronger. It was on Monday that my fate was sealed via an upper-management meeting. The so-called team with whom there was some unpleasantness on Friday night (which was not my fault -- it was a design issue, not my department) turned out to be a bunch of turncoats. This Gang of Four apparently didn't complain to my mild-mannered, lower-than-low-key Libra supervisor (who hadn't been there on Friday night when the team gang-up occurred, though the other evening-shift person had been, and she claimed without my asking her that she'd never seen anything like the shit that happened, shit that involved my methods and my competency being called into question, so I'm not crazy). No, the team went straight to upper management to get rid of my troublemaking ass. I even know which one of them was the instigator to throw me under the bus: she was the classic down-masquerading-as-an-up with tacky dyed blond hair and a face that only a Mack truck would love. This was the charmer who had never bothered to learn how to spell my name correctly even though it was right on my work email.

Fittingly, my Libra supervisor was the henchman on Tuesday. Due to some typical snafu my name was not in the corporate reimbusement system, so my supervisor paid me in cash for the cabs I'd had to take home two nights in a row from staying at the office till 1 a.m. to get the tons of absolutely necessary work done, then he wanted to know if we could talk for a minute. I felt like a regularly scheduled prostitute being given the boot after above-and-beyond services rendered.

I was never even given an opportunity to defend myself. That hardly seems fair -- especially since if anyone should've been fired, it shouldn't have been me.

But fairness seems to be in rather limited supply these days. My oldest friend, who shuffled off this mortal coil nearly seven years ago, had some old-school astrology book that claimed when Mars was retrograde, "bullies prevail." That's it in a nutshell.

So much for snitches winding up in ditches. In this case, it's the rats that ratted me out for the heinous crime of wanting to do my job correctly that won. Last Friday night, the Sun was within half a degree of opposing my Pluto -- I was right to be paranoid, but never dreamed I'd get fired over the kerfuffle, and never figured my best defense would be to go on the offensive and complain to my supervisor over what had transpired. The other evening-shifter told me on the phone on Wednesday that Libra Supervisor was "a nice guy, but won't stand up for us when there's a problem." As a result, I am back to square one, where I was in January, newly cut off from EUC, not making enough coin as a full-time freelancer, raising worrying to an art form.

So much for thinking that I wasn't going to have to deal with the fearsome-sounding Cardinal Cross in April, starring Uranus, Pluto, Jupiter, and...oh yes...Mars. Stay tuned (as opposed out out of tune).

Venus Retrograde in Capricorn: The Winter of Our Discontent / Mars in Libra: It's Just Not Fair!

Greetings, my lovelies and uglies. If you are not having a Happy New Year so far, relax. You happen to be in tune with various planetary factors that are combining to mitigate against the bluebird of happiness.

For starters, Venus is retrograde in Capricorn, and will remain retrograde till January 31. I am no meterologist, but the extreme weather conditions throughout much of the U.S. (a shit load of snow and record-breaking low temperatures rapidly followed by unseasonably mild air, then seesawing back to deep freeze) seem to reflect this particular planetary affliction.

Also, the government (symbolized by Capricorn) seems rather retrograde these days, in both senses of the word. Venus has as much to do with money as it does with relationships (due to its being ruled by Taurus as well as Libra), and the jury is still out on whether or not EUC (extended unemployment compensation) will be reinstated for over 1 million long-term unemployed individuals -- the Senate will vote on it this coming Monday. The official December jobs report is grim, but given the current chilly, uncompassionate, downright cruel climate, I am not at all optimistic that the EUC will be reinstated -- and if it is, it will surely come with a slew of grim Terms & Conditions.

I am the furthest thing from a Republican, yet I have become increasingly disenchanted with the Democrats, who did not include this crucially needed extension in budget deals last month before the long winter recess, despite their knowing that the Republicans would stonewall their asses off on agreeing to this extension unless other painful cuts were made to "pay for it" (unlike, say, the recent government shutdown or endless wars). People often speak of President Obama's excessive compromising with the Republicans, and how it reflects the challenge of Obama's being our first black president who cannot ever appear to be an Angry Young Black Man. However true this may be, this does not let off the hook all the other Democrats who are supposedly serving their constituents (i.e., We the People). Now, I am not by any means claiming that all Democrats are rat finks -- that would be like claiming that all baby boomers are evil narcissists, that all Gen-Xers are whiny cynics, and that all Millennials are entitled, selfie-and-social-media-crazed nitwits. But as a group, the Democratic Party has made a conscious choice to throw We the People under the bus. And why? 1. Because in this Pluto-in-Capricorn era, so many of them are in the 1% club and are in no danger of ever becoming unemployed. 2. Because they all depend on the same endorsements from the Big Bad Wolf of Wall Street that the Repubs also depend upon to get their fat-cat asses into power.

Ain't Pluto in Capricorn grand? Except for window-dressing issues that can turn on a dime or be compromised out of existence, and with the understanding that Democrats are more "Centrist" while the GOP has moved slightly to the right of Nero, are we in fact being served by the government we elected, or are we being perpetually bitch-slapped?

Which brings me to the fruitless lament of Mars in Libra: "It's just not fair!" It's fruitless because Mars is hamstrung in the sign of Libra. Mars in Libra is obsessed with the concept of fairness, but doesn't know the first thing about how to fight fair. Mars in Libra is a paradox: it is a trussed-up chicken ready to be thrust into a hot oven and basted with sweet-smelling compromises, but it is also a butcher. Mars squared (squore?) Pluto on December 30, will repeat this square with Mars retrograde on April 23, and happen a third time with Mars direct on June 14 (which happens to be Flag Day -- I wonder if this will translate into many flags being burned in protest?). To further complicate matters, Uranus in headstrong Aries is also involved with Mars and Pluto, resulting in a T-square. We have been dealing with the Uranus-Pluto square since June 2012, but I am very much concerned that this T-square will translate into escalating cruelty and outbursts of protest by increasing numbers of the desperately disenfranchised that may be squashed by Big Brother-style surveillance.

For the most part, Pluto in Capricorn has been a thorn in the sides of people who are not 1%-ers, at the tippy-top of the mountain (did you know that mountains are ruled by Capricorn?). It is small solace that eventually, Pluto in Capricorn will be the ultimate undoing of Big Business and corrupt governments -- just as Pluto going through any sign ultimately transforms or destroys all things associated with that particular sign -- because we are here now, and it fucking hurts. The gap between the haves and the have-nots has reached canyon-width proportions, and as of yet, there has been no WPA-style program to help the millions of so-called takers and moochers who are too goshdarned lazy or stupid to pull themselves up by their bootstraps to become successful entrepreneurs (aka job creators, the geniuses who are sitting on record-breaking profits while refusing to hire, offshoring like crazy, and overworking and/or underpaying their current employees). I don't know if there ever was a time in U.S. history when the almighty dollar was not valued above all else -- but with Pluto in Capricorn, there seems to be zero pretense of anything else being of value. All that puritanical, no-pain-no-gain, I've-got-mine-so-screw-you nastiness is hiding, all right -- in plain sight, in plain business-speak. And perhaps saddest of all, the very people who are getting screwed over the most are the ones who are most likely to vote for Far Right puppets who would rather step in dog shit than consider the most basic needs of the neediest.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. How quaint, and how out of date. Far more accurate would be Right to Life Until You Are Born, Liberty Savings Bank, and Happiness Is a Warm Gun.

Mercury Square Uranus: Tread Lightly; There's a Crack in the Ice

If you don't have something nice to say today, it may be best not to say it, for we are on a Mercury-Uranus square (exact 3:48 p.m. ET). A friendly debate may well turn into a full-on fight; constructive criticism is more likely to be interpreted as just plain mean.

Unfortunately, even after the square passes, we are just not getting much in the way of smooth, flowing aspects in the final few days of 2013: just after midnight ET the Sun squares Uranus, later on Monday Mars squares Pluto, and on the 31st Mercury conjuncts Pluto and squares Mars. Harmony must be somewhere out there, but it may not be so easy to find. Nerves are frayed. Patience has worn thin. Egos are bruised. Hissy fits are abounding.

For 1.3 million Americans (plus who knows how many dependent family members), the cause of this distress is very simple: being cut off from EUC (extended unemployment compensation) today, just a few days after Christmas. Hel-lo, Scrooge!

It is obvious to me that the White House does not have an astrologer on its staff; otherwise, this would never have happened -- not only is national unemployment still much higher than it was back in 2008, when EUC was first implemented (by then president Bush -- yes, United States of Amnesiacs, a Republican!), but we are only midway through the Uranus-Pluto square that astrologers have been ranting about since 2012 (or 2011 for the early birds). This is potentially a highly revolutionary aspect; the last Uranus-Pluto square happened in the early 1930s, and the New Deal (along with the associated and much-needed WPA) may have saved the United States from a truly ugly revolution. It is also worth keeping in mind that the depression that Germany went through during the same decade of the '30s triggered not a New Deal, but the rise of Adolf Hitler and the Nazi Party and the exit of civilized law and order, which culminated in the Holocaust and World War II.

As we still have 15 months of the Uranus-Pluto square to go, the jury is still out about which way the United States will go. With Mars tying into the Uranus-Pluto square, an increase in civilized protests may result -- Mars will be in Libra until late July, and retrograde for part of that time; Libra is not a sign noted for its bellicosity. I am all for civilized protests, yet at the same time, in this current climate, I do not know what, if anything, will change as a result of genteel protesting. It is certainly possible that the generation with Pluto in Libra (born 1971/72 - 1983/84) will not react in a genteel manner with Mars passing back and forth over its collective Pluto, but like a bunch of modern-day charming yet ruthless Bonnie and Clydes. Remember that the short-lived Occupy Wall Street movement of 2011, run mainly by the rising Millennial generation, generated a lot of "they're so entitled and unorganized" criticism before the protesters were forced out of Zuccotti Park. Any future protests will have to take a different tack in order to garner not only respect, but the "fear and awe" that may be necessary in the face of crushing, Scrooge-like meanness from the Right and "sorry, but we need to throw you under the bus" attitude from the Left.

Stay tuned, and if anyone from the White House happens to be reading this, I am available for astrological consultation via Skype.

Update from Triskaidekaphile Central

This post goes out to all of you lovelies and uglies who have thus far managed to evade a silent killer in a hockey mask...but there are still twenty-three minutes left of Friday the 13th, so don't relax just yet!

When you meet the Buddha on the road, you are supposed to kill him. But what to do when you meet Mars in Libra? However you decide to react, you have to recognize him. Mars will be in Libra for what may feel like forever, because it turns retrograde on March 1, 2014, and will not exit Libra till July 26. In the past week alone I have seen (and heard) a few very apropros emissaries of this challenging placement:

* a male burlesque performer
* Woody Allen aping Blanche DuBois and Diane Keaton aping Marlon Brando playing Stanley Kowalksi in Sleeper
* the voice-over at the beginning of Alice's Restaurant (the film, not the song): sounds like a man at the army induction center, but turns out to be a woman; a few scenes later, there is a voice-over that sounds like a woman dean, but turns out to be a man
* a Congress that decided to throw the long-term unemployed under a bus and not pass the Farm Bill

And this all happened on a waxing Moon and the Jupiter-Saturn trine -- the ultimate balancing act between expansion and contraction, optimism and pessimism, luck and hard work, hope and despair. I shudder to envision how Mars in Libra will behave (or misbehave) when it plays into the Uranus-Pluto square next year. T-squares can bring incredible tension. Especially in cardinal signs, much tension will need to be released. The "missing leg," the sign where this energy can be funneled, is Cancer: home, family, security, emotions. All will undergo major upheaval in the next several months, and if you happen to be a Cancer (like yours truly and the United States) or have important planets in Cancer, get ready for your world to be rocked -- or to rock the world.

Last time Mars turned retrograde was in early 2012, in the sign of Virgo: work, health, service, pragmatism got bogged down for many of us. I am dearly hoping that Mars in Libra (both direct and retrograde) will be positive for unconventional relationships (think role reversal, if not literally cross dressing). Mars is not often thought of as a healer, as its energy is aggressive, even impulsive -- yet Mars is also the surgeon, capable of cutting away diseased flesh in order to save the rest of the organism. Mars in Libra is in its detriment, meaning that it is not comfortably placed in this sign -- yet at its best, I believe Mars in Libra can indicate important healing work in relationships.

It is already happening in my world. If a Sir Tin Pie Seas is reading this post: I'm crossing the bridge and thinking of you, I'm sailing right behind, and I'm still next to you on that bus gazing at the snow.

A Very Special Episode of New Moon in Leo: Opportunity City!

Under so-called normal circumstances, Leo the Lion, king of the jungle, subscribes to a lie-by-the-fire laziness when it is not homing in on prey or partying hard. However, this New Moon in Leo, exact 11:54 a.m. EDT, forms a close, approaching sextile to Mars in Libra. The sextile is an aspect of opportunity; if you rouse yourself from your Casual Friday afternoon, something wonderful may very well meet you halfway. And that something is likely to be a someone, as Libra is all about relationships, and Leo is one of the more romantic signs of the zodiac. However, other manifestations may include art (either actively creating or actively appreciating), luxury, or exceptionally pleasing beauty.